Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Bored Flamers....

I am simply amazed at those who lack tack and diplomacy, no matter what level of dyke drama has ensued in the last three months. Two certain people feel that it is their business and right to stick their two cent's in WHERE IT DON'T FUCKING BELONG.

Candice, Mike, and Matt have lost their sister. Loretta has lost a daughter. Three precious children lost a mother. And that is that. I asked my blog readers for their prayers and well wishes for this family during this tragedy. What do I get? What does this family get? VENOM! Hateful, spiteful VENOM! From two people who don't know this family, have never met any member of this family, who have no direct knowledge of the situation, and most especially don't know the events and circumstances leading up to and surrounding the situation.

Ex called me Sunday, while driving to BootyCall's from West Virginia. She actually had the audacity to argue with me about how this was NEVER a murder. I am sure she was cued by BootyCall's snooping on the internet (see article attached to her "anonymous" comment on my previous post).

Let me tell you this. The media is RARELY privy to the full details of an investigation. As a 911 provider who once worked closely with police on crime scenes - DUH! You should know this. You yourself have seen details of crimes and scenes that are never released to the media. We all have.

As I returned home yesterday, I read the flaming smear so cowardly posted under anonymous. I was slack jawed. Just when I think these two can't stoop any lower.

Well folks... there is a new sheriff in town. And it's time for a change.

Amanda's death, be it by "accident", or as the result of THE DOMESTIC DISPUTE WHICH WAS IN PROGRESS AT THE TIME... has opened my eyes.

I finally had enough. I put my foot down and ended our "relationship" for good. And I'm strong enough to have the courage to do so. I loved her too much to see her in jail that day.

Whatever the case... just proves my point. Some folks are just spiteful, vengeful, venomous women... WHO ARE PERFECT FOR EACHOTHER! The two of them can live in dyke drama bliss for the rest of their lives.

All actions have their reactions.

Thanks to the venomous comments on my blog, the posts on hers (which was entirely deleted yesterday - but not before it was printed out in it's entirity), harrassing phone calls, and the obvious lack of KNOWING WHEN TO STOP...

Some new changes:

(1.) As I type, TPO's are being processed with the local courts/police. TPO's are restraining orders. It was a little tricky to manage seeing as I didn't have addresses for these two. Not that I want them. Last thing I need is someone saying I stalked them or harrassed them. One moved to Auburn, Alabama. One is between residences. But the police are working on figuring all that out.

(2.) ALL NEW E-MAIL ADDRESSES. If you try AOL e-mail it prolly won't go through. My inbox is maxed out. Sooommmmeeone has seen fit to subscribe me to tons of spam, porn sites, weight loss recipies, magazines, bidding sites, male enhancement products, you name it. So much in-fact, that I have filed grievances with my ISP and THEIR ISP, and it is in the process of being traced for possible criminal prosecution by the ISP's (not me). Interestingly enough... many of these sites LOG YOUR ISP when you sign up. I happened across one of the bidding sites I was illegally signed up for, and according to their legal section, it seems that the FCC and FBI don't take too kindly to folks creating false accounts in regards to financial transactions. Big NO NO. So, next stop... FBI & FCC greivances.

(3.) Changes to the blog. It's a damn shame that I am having to go to all these extremes to just be LEFT THE HELL ALONE!!! I honestly don't think that either of them realizes how much BS the other is spinning when it comes to me, her, and someone's long term inability to just fucking decide who she want's to love, screw, and live with. I moved to start a new life, despite the lies and deception just to be allowed to move back in. I am content to remain single, and alone. I want to be left alone. Look it up in Webster's Dictionary. A.L.O.N.E.

Just so you all will understand my reasons for the changes to the blog, I will repost the nasty anonymous comment left on my post regarding my friend's sister's death.

***anonymous***
Yes, a tragedy and certainly a terrible loss for her family and friends. But not a murder; a terrible accident. Please be careful to report the truth, especially when a family is so affected by what you say. There is no need to add the usual drama to this; it is painful enough for them without your embellishment.

**CANDICE'S REPLY*** ((with an ID - TYVM))
newrexico@aol.com said...
FYI anonymous heartless jerk...this tragedy is still under investigation. It has been described as an accident because the only witness was the boyfriend, a convicted felon who beat her, told her she would never leave him, threatened her with violence against her family(including her children) if she ever left him. HOMICIDE is still investigating the only witnesses story which happens to be the boyfriend a convicted felon with a violent history's story. Please be careful to research your smearing before you smear so as not to look like a cold heartless idiot.

***MY RESPONSE***
Um... yeah. That was the victom's SISTER. A little pissed off about such a nasty, inconsiderate, chicken-shit "anonymous" post.

We all know who it was, who was driving from W.VA all day and who was sitting at home by her computer waiting for her trifling boi to rush back to her side.

You have so received EXACTLY what you deserved. My baggage could not have rolled off onto a better bellhop. Enjoy, darlin'!!!

I guess if you want to talk shit, you guys are gonna have to man up and STAND BEHIND WHAT YOU SAY. EVERYBODY. Friends... or otherwise. No more anonymous posts. Sorry. Some (ahem)-body had to ruin that for you all.

Most comment posts have not been blogspot users. The anonymous post option was just quick and convenient. Now you must be a blogspot member, *OR* thanks to a lovely little application... it will LOG YOUR IP ADDRESS and conveniently attach it to my e-mail notices for the new posts.

That way all threats, smears, and harrassments can be forwarded to the police to be documented and attached to my TPO (temporary protective order) files.

Another fabulous application is my lil site meter which stamps your IP address EVERY TIME YOU READ MY BLOG.

**********
To my friends and readers: Don't worry. Your IP will not show on the post or my blog. It will only show on the e-mail notice I get.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Loss......



Just after 3am my phone awoke with back to back phone calls. Unusual for my phone to ring at odd hours of the night these days. It was a phone call I feared I would one day get.

The person calling has been of significant importance in my life for almost a decade, and we have seen each other through some seriously rough times. When I saw who was calling, I first thought she and her girlfriend had probably had THE fight. But this, sadly, was not the case. She and I had, together and individually, bailed her little sister out time after time. She had been in and out of psychotic and abusive relationships, battled addiction since she was a young teenager, and had three precious children before she was 21. My friend and I both feared that one day we would get a call from some police department that little sister had died of an overdose, had been beaten to death by a boyfriend, or whatever. It was an unpleasant and heartbreaking thought, but we were realistic. We prayed that day would never come, and by Spirit's mercy she could get her life together, find self love, get off drugs, and be a good mom for her kids. Little sister had been mostly estranged from her family for months now, and had left the kids for them to care for.

All that came to a tragic close earlier tonight.

My friend and her mom sat watching the evening news when a story ran about Oakland's 75th homicide for the year. The street was where her little sister had been living with her most recent boyfriend. The victim was around little sister's age, and fit little sister's description. I can imagine that they sat, mouths gaping, until my friend found the courage to call the police department. The victim had yet to be ID'd. She explained how the victim sounded like her sister, and gave her name, described her tattoos and physical attributes. The county coroner and police pulled little sister's photo from the DMV and positively ID'd her as the shooting victim, calling my friend back with the tragic news.

They CALLED BACK.

They didn't send a detective or officer.

THEY FUCKING CALLED!!!

I can't bring myself to recount the details of the murder, but to only say that her boyfriend is in custody as the prime suspect. According to what brief news reports I can find on the net, so is the person who called it in to police.

My heart is breaking for my friend, her mom, her brothers, those three beautiful children that I love like my own blood nieces / nephews. I want to go to them and hold them all while they scream and cry and grieve. Loss of life at any age is a sad time. Loss of life with someone so young, that you know could have had happy days ahead, is such a terrible thing there is no accurate human verbiage to adequately explain those emotions.

PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR THIS FAMILY AS THEY GRIEVE FOR THE LOSS OF A DAUGHTER, A SISTER, AND THE MOTHER OF THREE......

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I'll take BAD NEWS for $500, Alex....


The verdict is in. Yesterday's appointment with the orthopaedic was less than promising. Thanks to 9+ years in high volume, 911 EMS, that has mostly functioned under the "Spawn of Satan" System Status Management... (Grady & Metro), I have purchased my ticket to return to school this Fall.

May I explain the X-Ray...

The more solid chunks are the vertebrae of my lumbar spine. The dark spaces between are the disks. The two disks marked at the top are L2-L3 & L3-L4. The thin sliver is L4-L5. This disk is at 1/3 it's normal size. It has deteriorated. The next disk is L5-S1. It is decorated as well, but not as bad as the one above it. It is also displaced anteriorly (toward the front) leaving the posterior portions of the L5 &S1 vertebrae to grind against each other. Good explanation for the worsening, now debilitating pain I have endured for the last 3 months, for why my legs don't want to work, and for why I have completely collapsed to the floor twice - first time with incontinence (yeah you wanted to hear that, you know you did).

I am sure there a few choice people in this world who will convince themselves that this ordeal is my Karma for all the terrible woes I have inflicted upon them. Sorry to tell you... this started long before I knew EITHER OF YOU. So get over yourselves, really!

GOODBYE AMBULANCE. HELLO CLASSROOM!!!

EWE CAN DO IT.. ( a much anticipated response)




"It's hard to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed person, as the saying goes."

I'M NOT HAVING A BATTLE WITH YOU, MY DEAR. MY WAR HAS BEEN WITH LENYA ALL ALONG. I LOST ALL RESPECT FOR YOU WHEN YOU STARTED SLUTTING AROUND AND FLIRTING WITH LENYA. I HAD NO USE FOR YOU AFTER THE NIGHT YOU INVITED LENYA OVER TO GET HER DRUNK WHILE I WAS AT WORK. PROBABLY AN ATTEMPT AT SEDUCTION, BUT THEN AGAIN I ONLY HAVE LENYA'S WORD THAT "NOTHING HAPPENED". SEE, HERE IN *LIES* THE PROBLEM (APPROPRIATE PUN). EVERYTHING HAS BEEN BASED ON LENYA'S WORD. AND THAT IS WHERE I MADE MY MISTAKE. I BELIEVED EVERYTHING SHE SAID ABOUT YOU, ABOUT THE RELATIONS BETWEEN YOU TWO, THINGS YOU SUPPOSEDLY SAID ABOUT ME AND DID MALICIOUSLY TO ME, AND HOW MUCH SHE WAS OR WAS NOT INVOLVED IN IT ALL. MAYBE THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE MAKING YOUR MISTAKE TOO. BUT ALAS, THAT WAS SUCH A BITTER PILL FOR ME TO WAKE UP AND SWALLOW ON SUNDAY. IT MAY BE FOR YOU AS WELL.

"Isn't it funny how, when someone is being manipulative, that they lose sight of the fact that most other people don't operate the way they do. Which makes them very transparent; quite the opposite of the slick, quick people they think they are. Their biggest mistake? They don't factor in honesty. See, if you're 'living out loud', being honest about who you are with others, these people are no threat. I have never figured out why they always try to grab the bull and then are surprised when they get the horns. These are the same people who will have the nerve to cry when they get caught doing wrong to try to garner sympathy. Amazing. These are the people who will attack someone- literally and figuratively- and delude themselves into believing that they are justified because of some perceived 'wrong doing'."

FUNNY.... *and* AMAZING... YOU SEEM TO HAVE CAPTURED LENYA SO WELL. IT TOOK A WHILE... BUT I FINALLY CAUGHT ON TO HER GAME. YOU BASE 90% OF YOUR PERCEPTIONS SOLELY ON WHAT LENYA HAS TOLD YOU, TRUE OR NOT.

WHO CALLED *YOU* BEGGING FOR YOUR (APATHETIC) HELP THE DAY SHE WANTED TO COMMIT SUICIDE? I CALLED. IF I WERE SO MANIPULATIVE AND UNCARING, I WOULD HAVE SAID "F-IT" AND LET IT HAPPEN. LENYA IS GOOD AT CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE IS SUCH A VICTIM, BUT SHE IS EVEN BETTER AT CONVINCING OTHERS!!!

BEFORE YOU ACCEPT SOMEONES WORD AS GOSPEL TRUTH... DO SOME DIGGING. I DID. AND THE TRUTH DID NOT LIE WITHIN THE THINGS LENYA SAID, OR PRETENDED TO DO. BUT IT WAS EASILY ENOUGH FOUND.


"And though I have to admit it is a constant source of amusement, question is, how long are you willing to bang your head against the same wall, getting the same results every time?"

I'M SO GLAD THAT MY HARD LESSON LEARNED WITH LENYA HAS BEEN SO AMUSING TO YOU, AND SUCH A SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT. JUST ANOTHER FINE EXAMPLE OF THE CALLOUSED PERSON YOU ARE FOR ENJOYING THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS. I NO LONGER BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS TO THE SAME CONUNDRUM. LENYA PAINTS SUCH A WONDERFUL PICTURE OF ALL THE WRONG I DID HER, WHEN IN FACT I WOULD SIMPLY PUT MY FOOT DOWN AND DECLARE AN END TO WHATEVER BULL$#!+ LENYA WAS PULLING OR SPINNING. JUST BECAUSE I REFUSE TO PLAY HER GAME BY HER RULES... DOES NOT A VICTIM MAKE.

I TOOK THE INITIATIVE AND MADE THE CHANGES I NEEDED TO MAKE TO GUARANTEE "NO MAS" (THAT MEANS "NO MORE" IN SPANISH FOR THOSE LINGUISTICALLY LIMITED).

"At what point does vengeance become masochism?"

HONEY... THERE IS NO NEED FOR VENGEANCE. ONLY TO EXPOSE THE TRUTHS WITHIN ALL THE LIES. AS A FABULOUS FAG FRIEND OF MINE FREQUENTLY EXCLAIMS, "AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE"... (THANK YOU MY GAY BOYS - OH, AND WATCH OUT... SOMEONE IS ON THE HUNT TO HAVE THEIR NEXT TRANSGENDERED AFFAIR WITH A GAY MAN.)

"In the long run you are going to be the one to suffer for your behavior, not your 'targets', because as has already been explained (and you seem to be very slow in 'getting it'!), what you send out into the universe only boomerangs back, building velocity as it goes. I'm guessing you're having to catch a lot of boomerangs."

AGAIN... I HAVE NO TARGETS. BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING TO TARGET. NO ONE TO TARGET. AND AS FAR AS THOSE BOOMERANGS GO... I MAY HAVE CAUGHT A FEW THROWN BY LENYA, OR AS SHE TELLS IT - THROWN BY YOU. AND THAT IS OK. THERE IS A BIT OF A PRICE TO PAY FOR PLAYING THE GAME. BUT MY PARTICIPATION IN THESE INTRAMURAL SPORTS IS DONE. I HAVE ME DEGREE FROM THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS NOW.

"Well, anyway, simple truth is this: You have no power here. Slink off, pay your debts, admit your wrongs and keep on going."

AND GO I SHALL....

SO I GUESS MY QUESTION IS THIS... ARE WE DONE HERE?

ARE YOU THROUGH BASING *YOUR* VENGEANCE SOLELY ON WHAT HAS BEEN TOLD TO YOU SECOND HAND? OR DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE BALLS TO MAN-UP AND STAND BEHIND YOUR ACTIONS, ADMIT YOUR PARTICIPATION, AND EVENTUALLY MAYBE EVEN DIG FOR YOUR OWN TRUTH? I DO REMEMBER SOME COMMENT A FEW WEEKS AGO THAT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH STONES AND GLASS HOUSES. DOES THAT APPLY EQUALLY TO EVERYONE - OR JUST THOSE PERCEIVED AS THE *SOLE PROPRIETORS* OF INJUSTICES DURING THIS WHOLE TIRADE? TRULY BE YOUR OWN WOMAN, AND NOT A BLIND SHEEP IN A FLOCK FULL OF LIARS. SEEK IT. IT'S THERE.

WE'VE *ALL* PLAYED THE GAME. WE'VE *ALL* TOOK A FEW HITS. WE'VE *ALL* SUFFERED IN SOME MEANS. I'M READY TO BE DONE WITH IT ALL FOR GOOD.

BUT IF FOLKS CHOOSE TO KEEP UP WITH THE BULL$#!+, NAME CALLING, AND MUD SLINGING... I HAVE AMAZING STAMINA THAT HAS NOT BEEN EXPLORED IN YEARS, AND LOTS OF FREE TIME ON MY HANDS THESE DAYS.


OH... AND ABOUT ALL THAT FREE TIME. I LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP IN THAT ARENA. IT SEEMS TO BE JUST THE Rx FOR REST AND RELAXATION. WHAT A BLESSING IN DISGUISE!!! BUT DON'T THEY ALL USUALLY ARRIVE THAT WAY?

I THINK THAT MY TIME IS BETTER DIRECTED TO ~*MOVING ON*~!!! MAYBE SOMETHING YOU SHOULD CONSIDER AS WELL. JUST A SUGGESTION.