Alternate Title: Straw... Meet Camel!
Dispatch: "7262 prepair to copy."
Former Grady Medic: "262 go ahead"
Mouthy Renegade Partner: "Fuck Me! We get off in ten fuckin minutes!"
Dispatch: "Respond to blah blah blah Peachtree Street, Hyatt Regency, Difficulty Breathing. Stand by..... Text advises your subject will be across the street, at the liquor store. Be advised your 78 will be a black male, wearing all blue, and a straw hat."
MRP: "Oh great. Some drunk-ass rooter at the liquor store. Bet he wants to go to Piedmont to sober up and have a place to sleep it off."
FGM: "We'll see if he'll go to Grady. Just grab and go. Me and (Starry-Eyed Intern) will treat 'em on the way in."
(pulling up to liquor store opposite to the Hyatt)
MRP: "I don't see 'em"
FGM: "Leave the lights goin so he can see us."
*Just incase he is deaf and couldn't hear all the sirens blaring*
Starry-Eyed Intern: "Wadda we got?"
MRP: "Just Some Dude, drunk at the liquor store"
*Oh Jesus, it's Sumdood. Ambulance Driver has been warning us about him for months now. Could he have really relocated himself to Atlanta to reorganize, and plan a whole new batch of dastardly deeds? AD says he has super mystical powers beyond all human comprehension. Ready your defenses!*
FGM: "I'll see if he is inside"
*any other time I'd be fired for hanging out in a liquor store in uniform*
(walking inside liquor store and announcing our already obvious presence)
FGM: "Did anyone call 911? Does anyone need an amalance?"
*dramatic pause, waiting on every customer as a whole to respond in three part harmony their desire to enter alcohol rehab at 23:00 hours on a Friday -- NO RESPONSE, thank gawd*
(returning to the seizure inducing LED and strobe lit ambulance, firmly held in place by MRP and SEI leaned against the cab)
FGM: "He ain't in there. My radio is dead, you call it in."
*Probably some do-gooder cellphone samaratin' callin for Sumdood passed out on the sidewalk*
MRP: "He's gone. Time to go home.... 262 to Radio"
Dispatch: "262 go ahead"
Sumdood: *sprinting down the sidewalk*
"Hey! HEY! WHERE THE FUCK YA'LL GOIN?!?!"
*Oh yeah, I can tell already he has level one BS respiratory distress*
FGM: "Sorry man, thought you'd left. What's goin' on tonight?"
Sumdood: "My knee hurts"
*Did I loose my mind, or did our "new and improved dispatch" send this out as respiratory distress?*
FGM: "Is anything else bothering you?"
Sumdood: "What da fuck that mean?"
*obviously his airway is intact*
FGM: "Our dispatcher said you had other problems, just wanna' make sure you're a-ok"
Sumdood: "Whatever, lady, them people on da phone wuz trippin. Look, my leg hurtin' like hell!"
*and he AIN'T having no problems breathing if he is yellin' like that*
MRP: "What's goin on with your leg?"
Sumdood: "It fuckin hurts, man. I dunno what's wrong wit it. Dat's what I call' you fo!"
(complete with excessive and aggressive gesturing)
FGM: "Well tell us about your leg... did you twist it? Did you fall on it? Did somebody jump you?"
Sumdood: "Fuck dis shit, man! I done answered all dis shit on da phone! Why ya'll fuckin' trippin too?"
FGM: "Look, if you don't answer our questions we have no idea what is wrong with your leg, we can't do anything about it, we can't write a report, and we can't tell the doctor anything about you to get you seen. You gotta' chill out and let us do our job. Why won't you let us check you out?"
MRP: "We can't do anything with you yellin' and actin' a fool"
*Oh that's great. Piss 'em off even more. I'm puttin your ass in the back with him*
Sumdood: "I ain't stupid. I am an educated man!"
(shuffling around, anxious, restless, aggressive)
*Bet he's probably tachycardic with some pupillary constriction too. Certainly in need of some calming chemicals... valium would be a good start*
FGM: "Sir, no one said you were stupid. Why don't we take you to Crawford Long? It's just down the street, right around the corner. When you get done, it's close enough, you can walk back or catch a cab. You just gotta decide what you want us to do for you."
SEI: "Man, they can't do anything with you unless you cooperate, settle down, and answer their questions"
FGM: "So, will you tell us about your leg?"
Sumdood: "Yo, fuck you crazy white mothafuckas"
(flipping the bird with both hands, and giving us "the hand" as he strode off hasitly down the side walk on Baker St.)
FGM to SEI: "And that behavior is why you go with your gut instincts, if they are acting all wierd and aggressive, you certainly don't wanna lock yourself in the back of the rig until they chill out, you can bet that there is a big chance they will get violent"
MRP: "262 Radio"
Dispatch: "262 go ahead"
MRP: "Be advised... Farmer John has flown the coop. Patient was belligerant with EMS and walked away cursing"
Dispatch: "10-4 on the respiratory distress that walked away"
(driving away from scene)
MRP: "Look there he is, already a block away!"
(Sumdood is still cursing EMS. walking back toward liquor store)
Sumdood: "Fuck you, ya fat dyke bitch!!!"
*I wish I had a dollar for everytime some jackass said that*
Dispatch: "7262... You are clear for end of shift"
MRP: "Let's go home!"
(hitting the block, Sumdood is back around on Peachtree Street now, jumping up and down screaming at the ambulance. Doesn't seem like he recognizes us until we are directly in front of him and he starts screaming racial slurrs again)
FGM: "Now ain't that some shit! Lemmie get this freakin report wrote before we get back to the house. You'd better call the supervisors and let 'em know about this guy, my radio is dead."
MRP: "Those two are probably off in their love nest somewhere. If one stops suddenly the other one' s head would be stuck up the other one's ass"
Apparently, Sumdood called 911 later in the evening and was treated by another crew. What I was told officially was that Sumdood complained that we were rude, flipped HIM off, and used racial slurrs towards HIM. What they did not tell me was that all written accounts DID confirm that Sumdood was belligerant, uncooperative, and aggressive. Verbal interviews were documented by supervisors to indicate that MRP sold me out saying that in his opinion my repetitive questions to the caller were in a manner to intentionally aggravate the patient. SEI's limited view through a 6 inch peephole into the cab of the truck allowed him to formulate the opinion that I was laughing at Sumdood rather than our sarcastic comments towards night supervisors that are always riding together rather than apart (making them less available to crews).
Unofficially, the word is that Sumdood may have assaulted the Paramedic that transported him, and was charged with felony assault. And said medic couild have been in Cardiac Ops all night after being kicked in the chest by Sumdood.
Being that these types of calls are increasing in frequency, more and more medics are ending up in the ER after being assaulted and injured. Supervision and administration's answer is "get over it, it's part of the job". Having my ass kicked once or twice a month is NOT what I signed up to do. We have no training in self defense, carry no weapons, and medics have gotten reprimanded for physically defending themselves. We are not APD.
Although I was under investigation for less than pristine customer service skills, I could not afford to sit for weeks with no income while Grady EMS drug out their already-made decision to fire me. I chose voluntary resignation, so that I could collect my banked vacation time and pay my mortgage this month, eat, and have gas for my car and the impending job search.
I know already that someone (yet unknown to me) is attempting to blackball my name in the EMS community, because the job I was supposed to start yesterday was suddenly withdrawn when I arrived for orientation. All I can say is that life goes on. All things happen for a reason. Blah Blah Blah. And all that optimistic shit. We will just have to see how things pan out.
Sumdood may not be as bad a guy as AD thinks. He DID, after all, save my sanity, and get me the hell out of Grady. My hat's off to ya. But next time... I may just have to show you what a pissed off fat white dyke can really do. Next time I might just really flip you off and tell you how much of a racist bigot jackass YOU are!